The Rainbow - final post

The Confessions of Jacob Boehme

Final “taster” sharing extracts from my introduction alongside selected passages from the new translation of Boehme’s Confessions.

It helps no one to describe fear as ‘weakness’,[1] or as something which serves no useful purpose.[2] Neither statement is accurate, and the problem with them (and much else besides) is that such language is often used in a misguided attempt to comfort people. Such states, which vary massively in degree and severity from one person to another, ultimately arise from fear and have always existed in human beings. They are not a modern invention and have always led to a sense of incarceration in a dark world with little hope of escape for many people. Yet sufferers of depressive anxiety are still spiritual people; they still believe in God and often adhere to a religious tradition or doctrine in their state of quiet desperation. What are we to make of this? More specifically, what propels anyone (spiritual or not) to soldier on through life’s ups and downs when the sheer weight of existential troubles makes no sense of ‘mucking on’? Indeed, what purpose does continued existence hold once the biological imperative of the ‘selfish gene’ becomes redundant? If we stop and reflect on our doubts—perhaps related to poor health, encroaching old age, death, or any other insoluble worries—that which keeps pushing us on regardless must indeed hold the answer. Sadly, not really, because sometimes the response is tacit acceptance and resignation without an alternative existence, which merely represses the symptoms and offers no meaningful solution. Indeed, this is to live in a mental prison.

However, what if negative thoughts and actions arise from core evolutionary instincts compelling us to manage fear by fight, flight or in hiding? Is that necessarily a bad thing? The short answer is no; it is not a bad thing. It is a necessary thing, which, if it becomes a constant state of mind, might transform into a bad thing if it manifests as an irrational phobia. There is a difference. This is because the evolutionary purpose of anxiety resides in the coexistence of opposites in our very nature as human beings. It is the riddle of the Sphinx without any mystery because we intuitively know that fear is part and parcel of being human. Besides, opposing principles of negative and positive states are woven into the very stuff and substance of empirical reality and exist in the interactions of the tiniest of particles in atoms through the formation of our entire Universe.

“This life is a valley of misery because our mind is always in danger, filled with pain, constant commotion, tugging and hauling, warring, fighting, struggling, and striving for a state of harmony it can never find. Sometimes, this soul struggle is beyond the understanding of our cold, half-dead bodies, which can never know how our soul feels and which keeps on feeling heavy and uneasy, shifting from one task to another and from one location to another in search of satisfaction. Even when it arrives, it is still looking for what it wants.

Understanding this complex spiritual conflict arises from recognising that we are not only physical animals but also have an immortal spirit within us that can exist in low and high states. This is my ongoing experience. Like everyone else, I struggle with faith and often feel defeated. Despite this intense battle, I am strongly urged to document the revelations given to me. I feel compelled to write them down, although I am still figuring out what will happen. I glimpse mysteries of the future sometimes, but not often. I can see through time when the Light rises in the centre of me, although I can never fully comprehend or grasp it. It appears and disappears with the suddenness of a lightning strike. When I have a breakthrough in my spiritual battle, I glimpse the divine, but my faults soon obscure it once more. In my struggles, I have encountered many obstacles, which have frequently left me feeling deeply depressed. Although my faith has been tested and weakened numerous times, it has always recovered with time. To be clear, I am not sharing this with you for any personal gain but because I want you to know that my limitations are fundamental and not to hold me up to a higher standard than I can achieve in this life. Everyone who lives in the hope of improving themselves faces such daily struggles. Although many accomplished writers can better express it, I am amazed that God revealed himself to me. I am unassuming and never aspired to write. Indeed, I am a fool and a source of scorn to the outside world.”

Jacob Boehme, ‘Confessions’

Art: Nicola Samori, ‘Fegefeuer’

Text © M.R. Osborne/Ninakis Highlights, 2025

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